Erotic Massage Oils 101

Whether you’re aiming for a happy ending or just a relaxing experience, choosing the right massage oil will be the difference between a smooth, enjoyable event or something that leaves you sticky and irritated.

Here is a brief, but useful guide to getting you started…



This is honestly the best route for any massage (erotic, sensual, or otherwise).

First, you’ll need essential oils.

They come in small bottles and are concentrated oils of whatever plant they’ve been extracted from, e.g. rose, lavender, jasmine etc. and are found in any health food store (and sometimes pharmacies or large supermarkets). Each plant will have different benefits, or you can just choose the one you like the smell of.


However – don’t confuse these with “essential essences” which are just watered-down versions of the pure oil and mixed with alcohol (often cheaper to produce).

Second, you’ll need a “carrier oil” – Why?

Essential oils are VERY concentrated and will usually cause irritation if put directly on the skin. Hence the need to dilute them in neutral oil.

These will do fine…


SWEET ALMOND – Most widely used in massage therapy. Light and faster to absorb into the skin (but still long lasting enough). Mostly non-allergenic, but those with a nut allergy should do a spot test or just avoid.

APRICOT KERNEL – Similar to sweet almond, but slightly more expensive due to its higher levels of vitamin E and longer shelf life.

JOJOBA – Antibacterial, antifungal properties, and long shelf life. Light and non-greasy.

COCONUT – Make sure it’s fractionated. Affordable and won’t stain your sheets. However, fractionated doesn’t have as good of a glide as other oils.

GRAPESEED – Another great option, but since it’s extracted from grape seeds with solvents, some uber-natural people might not like it.

OLIVE – Can be used for massage, but stickier and heavier than other oils.


There are MANY more oils out there, but these are the most common.


You can also blend different carrier oils together to get the consistency you like. For example, if you love the feel of avocado oil, but don’t like the heaviness, you can cut it with a lighter oil.




These are the things you find in your local sex shop or online. They’re labeled with thigs like “Kama Sutra” or “Naughty” etc. I tend to avoid these because they’re simply more expensive versions that use the same ingredients you would in DIY anyway.




Maybe you just don’t feel like playing chemist, or you want something you’re not confident in making yourself. For example…


EDIBLE OILS – massage oils you can lick off.


WARMING – containing ingredients that either warm on their own or with contact/breath.


COOLING – Tingly sensations, like you, would with peppermint or menthol.





These aren’t ideal for massages because they absorb into the skin quickly. You can, however, use them for small areas like the hands or the feet. Some people also like to mix them with a carrier and essential oils. Shea butter is a great option.





With ANY product that goes on the skin, it’s important to do a spot test first (to make sure you or your partner doesn’t have a reaction). This is especially vital if you’re using essential oils or have a nut allergy.

Never get oils near female genitals. The membrane is delicate and can get irritated REALLY easily.


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What are your favorite massage oils? Share in the comments (no product links please).